all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
