jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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