On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
