Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
