Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
