Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
