So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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