her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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