At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
