We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
