tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm gonna fight the coyote
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