I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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