there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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