I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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