hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
