Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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