Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
