Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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