talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
