What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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