he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
