Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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