I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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