We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
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