i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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