There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
