Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
