I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
