Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
