She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
