just come out here and I will go home with you...
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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