all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
