why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I am available for nakedness
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
