just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
