so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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