yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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