i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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