1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
