You were right. It hurts to walk today.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
