i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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