They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
