I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm really into asian looking animals
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
