I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
