Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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