there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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