There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
