if you like me you must not know who I am
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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