so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
