I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
