It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
