He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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