that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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