Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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